van der Staal

12:38am: tricky

OH. MY. FUCKING. GOD.

8:47pm: peace

So today's my day off which is GREAT!!! So nice to cruise around the pad, jus chillen and playin some tunes while the wind howls outside

Also a brief run in the rain which always feels amazing! :)

Now it's kinda nice to spend some time on the internet, it's a rarity these days I tells ya

You'd think I'd be bursting with stories

Unfortunately, it's winter and my life's just not that dramatic atm!

WATCH OUT BOYS, I'M ABOUT TO DROP THE P-BOMB.

I haven't had my period in quite a while... and while I was happy to just enjoy it Holly insisted that I might have a baby in there cos I've been feeling all vague, forgetful and sketchy and apparently that's what happens when you're preggers.

Also, in the past few days people keep asking me when we're gonna hurry up and have a kid, just random!!!

So today I thought I mays well get a test just to make sure, even though I've had no other signs, it's better to know than to wonder about it like a twit!

So I wee'd on a stick and after a few seconds of suspense it turns out I'm not up the duff, praise the lord!

While all my friends laugh at how IMMENSELY clucky I seem to have become over the past couple of years, I still know I'm not ready for THAT chapter of my life to begin just yet!!!!

That's right my brothers and sisters, no watermelon's comin out of this peach!!

In other news, with Jess being off work for a while, I've been delightfully indie-free for the past ten days or so and I'M LOVING IT!!!! She will be back tomorrow which is great cos I have missed the little one but her music, I have not.

*sigh*

I never used to hate indie so much but when you listen to it every day it gets real old, real fast.

SAMESY.

The youth of today, I dunno

Kids and their music.

:/

I would like to take this opportunity to rave on about my amazing bestie friend Holly. She is a super brilliant goddess of a woman!!! She made me the sweetest present. I nearly cried - a framed collage of all our photos together, with paintings of anime versions of us and everything.

I was deeply touched!!!!

Hmm what else? OH, Conrad is awesome. For many reasons including he ALSO made me a sweet present in double cd form, love a bit o' that, and he is really tall which is GREAT!!!

And that's all I have to say.

JAH!!!!

9:14pm: damien

1:30pm: mutant madness

Man...

I spent the whole of saturday night feeling even MORE like an alien than usual!

Which is a lot!

The story goes, my darling wife Kanada was in Sydney which is always a recipe for chaos!

She picked me up from work and after a brief *endurance* of Sly Fox we headed into the city for some dancin.

The music was not my usual cuppa tea but it was tacky and fun!

Lots of remixed Madonna and Kylie!

So I danced like a duracel bunny and you know there's nothing that makes me happier than a little dancin!!!

But back to the alien thing...

I couldn't relate to a single clubber in the whole place.

NOT ONE!!!

Scary.

I just didn't *get* them.

Different backgrounds and different tastes make a massive difference I guess.

Also, I reckon I was the only completely drug-free/sober patron there, so maybe I just wasn't feelin their vibe or whatever...

But to be honest I think it is more likely that they are a MUTANT RACE.

I do realise it goes both ways tho!!

There is no doubt in my mind that they were sitting there going "who's this circus freak, nice furry boot-things, don't you know Utopia is SOOOOOO RANDOM now..."

...but man, I saw some pretty filthy things that night that I wish I could delete from my memory forever!

Here's a taste:

I went to the dunnies to find that one of the cubicles had the following features:

several poos and a big spew on the floor

an upturned pads and tampons bin with contents everywhere

a boy and girl having sex.

MUTANTS.

Even THAT is not as frightening as some of the fashion!!!!

Anyway it's up to them to be mutants so I was polite n stuff.

Luckily the staff were super awesome and amazing and it was great (as always) to see them. They made the night good for us...actually they made it FRICKEN SWEET!!!! :) :) :)

I had a wonderful time, and so did my little Kana-bear :)

And so concludes my post about how I felt like an alien, as always but a little more than usual.

8:52pm:

Hello, howdy! Well it's february so I think it's time to write a little post.

Typing is a challenge cos my new keyboard feels weird. I figured it was about time I got a new one considering the letters on my old one have been rubbed off for about three years. Hehe I never really noticed unless someone else used my computer and went "where the fuck are all the LETTERS?????"

It's been a great week except for I NEED STORAGE SOLUTIONS. I am at that age now where I really need to buy a house, not to start a family but to make room for my jewellery. Hehe. My collections are growing, as is my obsession with music - drawing me ever closer to The Day My Music Ate My Computer. Hehe. I need a new hard drive....and a trip to Ikea....and a Creative Zen Vision:M 60GB thanks :)

Anyways moving on. I would like to speak now about friends coming to visit me at work. IT RULES!!!! Especially cool awesome people like glittalogik, phukn_psycho and Recou, it brightens my day to see your smiley faces! Thank you! I LOVE visitors! And Conrad, you are just mountains of cool.

My sister is going through a bit of a crappy time right now so I'm gonna buy her the newest Arcade Fire album. She is real sad..... and so is one of my bestest bestest friends come to think of it. It seems 2008 is crapshit for quite a few people, which is strange cos I was really noticing a general feeling of optimism at first. It felt like it was going to be a good year. (Apart from the whole Heath tragedy of course, which made me cry many times including once at work with my boss!)

I hope the 2008 vibe gets a bit happier for everyone cos it's all a bit much seeing my loved ones sad! I think it's the psycho weather too...what a lame joke of a summer. GAY.

In awesome news, I now have a sweet car! It's new and silver and special and it runs like a dream and has a cd player that actually WORKS and it's generally just a thing of beauty :) Damien and I finally get to set the Falcon on fire and push it off a cliff like we've always dreamed of :D We're stoked :) It has made a hole in our savings but we owe nothing on it so we're pretty proud. It will be my practising car so that I'm a sick driver by the time I buy an old mini and hot it up and paint it pink ;D

I went out the other week, to Berserk, FUCK man I love that club!!!! It was awesome to see some old friends and dance to good music, so refreshing, plus there was a dj who played HARDCORE and I was in heaven. Favourite club FOR SURE. I can't wait til the next one!!

Well that's all for now, here's a photo of me and my man in honour of silly Valentine's day coming up...much love crazy characters x x

( Read more... )

8:48pm: very important announcement

8:00pm: out with the old

This entry is a bit heavier than my usual, so I'll cut it.

( contains drug references and mild horror )

12:30pm: my yearly meme
1. What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before?

Pink ballet slippers

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I think so, most of them anyway!
Yes I plan on growing my hair down to my bum!!!!!

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

No

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No

5. What countries did you visit?

I STILL haven't been overseas....but Kanada went all over the world and messaged me from Paris and Amsterdam (squeeeeeal!) which is all the excitement I needed.

6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?

My own car, preferably an old Mini in metallic hot pink with beautiful chrome wheels and furry cushions in the backseat!

7. What dates from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

Earthdance in September, because I ran around like a mental with my sister all day and it was the most festive and relaxing day of the year :)

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

I got a bit more in touch with myself, with my body and with God/the Universe/whatever-you-like-to-call-it!

9. What was your biggest failure?

The chocolate will always beat me, and the chocolate knows it!!!!

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Sorta. But nothing I couldn't handle, on account of me being HARDKOR and all.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Some gorgeous wedge heels with a green apples print on them, a few vintage 60s wardrobe pieces, a pair of awesome cowboy boots which are red, black and white with bulls heads on them, yet another wheels and dollbaby singlet to add to my collection, the new Underworld CD (finally, it's been too many years since the last one), about ten kilos of new jewellery (soon it will need its own room) and a set of retro psychedelic plates by Jackie Shapiro.

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?

My bosses, for being the most inspiring, warm, genuine and professional business I have ever encountered
My own, of course!!!! Don't you know I'm awesome???!!!
And Damien, not only because he's also awesome, but because he inspires me to be :)

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?

No comment!

14. Where did most of your money go?

This year I started a hardkor savings account. There is actual money in it! I am quite pleased.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Earthdance
Finding my future hometown
Seeing Kanada and Heather!!!!!
Working out
Classical ballet training
Music, music, music!!!

16. What song will always remind you of 2007?

Pendulum - Hold Your Colour
IAMX - Spit It Out
Imogen Heap - Hide and Seek
Gotye - Hearts A Mess
Cog - What If

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

i. happier or sadder? happier, with faith and hope and love and all that shit!!!!
ii. thinner or fatter? thinner - yay!
iii. richer or poorer? richer - yay!

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?

Doofin!

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

I dunno - chocolate maybe! It's my weakness! I love it though.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?

Sitting round with my family, giving them presents, listening to music and trying not to eat too much.

21. What LJ users did you meet for the first time?

What's LJ? Oh, that's right, it's this old thing....

22. Did you fall in love in 2007?

I was already in love. But yes, over and over again, with the same person xoxoxoxoxoxox

23. How many one-night stands?

Zero. Which is good, because I hate them.

24. What was your favourite TV program?

Love My Way

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

No time for hate in this beautiful world, only peace love and mung beans for me!

26. What was the best book you read?

The Secret

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?

A whole heap of real hardcore from Holland!!!!
Plus, I realised that it's been nearly 15 years sice I fell in love with grunge, and nothing will ever come between me and my grunge bands, especially the girls....L7, Babes In Toyland and her royal highness, COURTNEY LOVE!!!!!!!

28. What did you want and get?

Stability, the perfect job, some new friends, a luxurious apartment with a beautiful view, inspiration, better fitness, more dance training, the Cog tour, some savings, the perfect beach town, and a beautiful beautiful ipod.

29. What did you want and not get?

I sorta want to make peace and resolve stuff from my past. I guess I still think about it a lot.

30. What was your favourite film of this year?

The Prestige
Little Miss Sunshine
1408

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 26, but no one believes me. Which is a good thing I reckon!
Damien took me to Jenolan Caves, and we had dinner with friends including my beloved Kanada who came up from Melbourne, and went to Vortex at Mandarin Club.

32.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

If Andy Warhol came back to life and started making more screenprints including lots of green ones.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?

The Walking Warhol
Just Wear Green
The Gurl with the Curls
The Tool with the Jewels
"Did you deduct sixteen pounds for your bangles?"
Get back to the sixties, mole

34. What kept you sane?

Three D's:
Dance
Daily exercise
Damien's cuddles

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Jake Gyllanhaal
Christian Bale

36. What political issue stirred you the most?

Labor's win, a cause for celebration.

37. Who did you miss?

Kanada and Heather and Ela and Neil

38. Who was the best new person you met?

Jessy

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007.

Have faith.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

Then can I walk beside you
I have come here to lose the smog
And I feel to be a cog in something turning
Well maybe it is just the time of year
Or maybe it's the time of man
I dont know who l am
But you know life is for learning
We are stardust
We are golden
And we've got to get ourselves
Back to the garden

- Joni Mitchell, Woodstock

6:43pm: christmas cheer!

OMMMMGGGGGGGGG!!!

December is such a crazy time!!!!

Thought I mays well check in since it's been a few months....

WHOA TIME FLIES!!!

Looks like it's about time to do that dreaded end-of-year meme that goes around every year!

It seems like a good way to sum up the year and decide whether your life's on track etc even though the questions are a bit boring! So I guess I'll do it but not right now.

So anyways back to december being crazy!

Christmas shoppers are all mentals!

I think that maybe if I hear the word Kris Kringle one more time my brain will melt! I'm getting a bit sick of it! All these corporates come in and say "Oh, I need a nice little gift worth ten dollars for Kris Kringle and I barely know the person...."

Firstly, didn't it used to be called Secret Santa?

Secondly, what a dumb invention. I would hate the idea of having to buy a lousy anonymous gift for a colleague I barely know!

Thirdly, you should be allowed to buy whatever gift you like for whoever it is at work that you like best. If there are people who are mean or smell bad, then they won't get any presents but it's their own fault.

Fourthly, TEN BUCKS?????? Get out of my shop and go to Newtown Variety, cheapskates!!!!! :D

Well now that that's out of my system I will talk about the holidays. Heather and Kanada are coming up to Sydney and I am so excited I may soon need a nappy change! They will both be here over the Xmas/Newyears weekend and I have ten days off work so it's time to fucken party! WHOOOOOOOHOOOO!!!

We're bursting with the excitements, we are!

I'm having the family christmas thing at my place this year so I need to buy all this food and drinks and put on a big stink! I love making Christmas food, yum!

Although it's going to be.... interesting as I haven't seen my dad in I don't know how long!!!!!

Hmmmmmm I think I might be nervous?

Oh, I'm probably just being silly! It'll be sweet! And anyhow, Christmas isn't the important part, it's the partying that comes AFTERWARDS that really rulez!!!

Now I just have to get through one more week of the crazy christmas chaos that is retail before I can kick back, crack open a Malibu and Coke and let the festivities roll....

Sweet mate sweet :)

1:27pm: best psytrance, best friends, best air guitar, best ever

It's been an awesome coupla weeks!

I had my wife, Kanada, up from Melbourne for two whole weeks and this makes me extremely happy! We spent nearly every spare minute together, in cafes, restaurants, bars, clubs, walking the streets and having picnics in her hotel room! Lots of silly singing and dancing and carrying on! Mad fun, I love her so much!

We went to Abduction, what a sweeet club! Really cool, friendly atmosphere with so much room to hang out, about as many kinds of music you'll ever hear in one place, and of course it's run by one of my bestest friends in the world, Lee, who seems to just make the sun shine wherever he goes!

Another old friend from way back, Amsterdam, played the best set...wow...now Ammo has always been The Doctor when it comes to psytrance...always has the best stuff that no one knows about....but he disappeared for a while into a cave and now he is back with extremely long hair and let me just say wow, HOLY SHITBALLS he plays mad now!!! Even madder than before! In fact, this set was so hard, intense and mindblowing that it made all other psytrance sets in the history of all time sound like weak piss trickling down a drain! This set was a big fat pile of Holy Shit With Flies Buzzing Around It!!!! I loved it! Everyone was dancing so hard with these massive smiles on their faces...it was truly beautiful....they turned all the houselights on to make us go home, and the entire floor kept dancing, completely unphased. Lee goes, "ha ha, they think we will go home!" and we burst out laughing and kept dancing hardcore for another 15-20 minutes until they gave up and turned the lights off again.

The night before that, friday, we went to Towny and we have come to the conclusion that if you want to go Towny then you have to bring your own fun. We did this by hanging out DOWNSTAIRS, as that's where the action is, not upstairs as it is gay, then playing Gunners, RHCP, Alice Cooper, Kiss and such because this is the only music that should be heard at the Towny. Fun is then enhanced by doing extreeeeeeme dance moves, jumping down the stairs and playing air guitar whilst making screeching guitar solo noises, wearing a Tina Turner wig. This is what a night at the pub should be all about and if anyone disagrees then I suggest you sit upstairs and drink Baileys out of a shoe.

In Career News, after a brief hiatus I am back at Supre (I knew I couldn't stay away!) because the Bogan Slogan oversize fluoro t shirts are just too good.

LOL.

I'm loving it of course! It's hard work but it's the only job where I can completely be myself, I don't have to act posh or pretend to be dull! I am free to be hyperactive and run around the floor, climbing up walls to get pairs of neon blue pants in size triple extra small and dancing to revamped Eurythmics! As long as I don't take on too much extra responsibility I should be able to hang on to my sanity, and I'm getting closer and closer to reaching my long term goals every day which is frickin sweet.

I know I've been crapping on for ages but there is just one thing I need to say, and that is, well, sometimes in life you just know, with every fibre of your being, that something is right. There's no second guessing, there's no niggling feeling in the back if your mind that maybe it's a mistake, there's no checking out what else is around, there's no fear that you will be let down, and there's no feeling, EVER, that you are not good enough (or too good) for him. All there is is perfect trust, mutual respect and complete adoration. And things just work, no matter what the universe sends to test you.

It's the best ever feeling.

8:37pm: peace

Dear livejournal,

Hello! Yes it has been a while. But here I am.

While other planets have been interesting and wonderful I thought I'd better touch base here and just get to know you again....I can't believe how much of my existence is flying past undocumented....how un-Doogie Howser of me...a very long time ago I used to be like, "...and then I scratched my bum. And then I ate a chip." How things have changed!

So a lot has happened since I last wrote to you about six months ago or whatever it was, but I won't go on too much about it....I tried my hand at managing a retail giant, but have recently stepped down as it proved rather difficult for a hyperactive rebellious ADD dreamer like me (I prefer to call it "creative free spirit" but anyway) and while the store was KICKING ASS cos of my greatness, on the inside I was dying a little bit cos it was soooooo hard to concentrate, I kept on forgetting about important things and I had no brainspace left for creative things which equals POONESS.

So now I am working at Tree of Life which is easy and much more suited to my bohemian rhapsody, and now I have much more brain power available to work on my passions. Which I am doing with great determination!!! I've started a line of jewellery, a new dance piece and I'm developing my "business plan" into this huge alien monster hehehe, it's a secret but it's the greatest idea I've had since I came up with sliced bread back in '28. I'm VERY excited and I've never been so happy!!! :)

OH another thing I'm doing is organising a sweet arts festival which will be on in the summer...I'll probs rave on about that later...should be pretty rad I reckon but it's ages away so I won't go on about it now.

I finally moved away from the city, after much yearning and pining, and it's FRIKKIN SWEET cos I now live in a very dreamy apartment, high up with water views, and rosellas and cockatoos come and chill out with me on my balcony and I share my raisin toast with them if they're good :) It's pretty blissful :)

Haven't been goin out all that much lately, partly cos it's far away, but mainly cos I have so much stuff going on...I feel like so much of my life has been spent partying, especially in the years '02, '03 and '04 which were three solid years of steady craziness *gulp*....

So for the past year I've been behaving, and being responsible....I guess I spend a lot of time thinking about the future, and I've learned that being stuck in party mode (which I am prone to) makes it really hard for someone like me to move forward. Lately I have important goals, and some of them have use-by dates. I have to stay focused. It's good though. I still have fun. (I even still go out occasionally, but these days I remember to go home! ;D)

All in all, life is good, and I've made peace with the universe (we've been at odds before but we sorted all that out....it was my fault) So I feel optimistic and I'm not afraid of what the future has to offer!

Woops what an entry! It's really " wow look at me, my life's so radical" but I can't help it, I'm just in a super mood...And anyway, I'd rather be goin on about being at peace than complaining about the price of fish and selling old handbags on ebay.

Plus, no one reads lj anymore though so who cares!!!

I feel like ginger beer. Maybe I should go to the shop?

7:13pm: fucked legs

By my calculations there are two kinds of fucked legs!

There is the kind where you're working them out like a mofo, and they start to weaken beneath you, the discomfort makes you clench your jaw. You push and push through the pain and keep going til you're so exausted you wanna SPEW! The agony makes your head spin, you gasp for air and try desperately to apply the Buddhist principle of overcoming the suffering. At the end, your legs are so wobbly that you fall up the stairs to your house!

Then there is the kind of fucked legs where you're standing on them all day, working as a tiny cog in a giant corporation, pulling a twelve hour shift... it begins with a dull ache. You shift your weight as the hours drag by, you dream of water and sand and bed! The aching builds and builds and your face starts to tense up. Thoughts of homicidal violence form in your mind as you scramble for a seat on the bus. As soon as you get home you rip off your shoes and rub your lil tootsies to buggery which makes your eyes roll back in your head like a smacked out junkie. You finally put your feet up and it is only then that you really experience the full throbbing pain of fuckedupness which just keeps on hurting even when you're falling asleep!

Because I am a sick person, Fucked Legs Type A is one of my favourite feelings in the world, YEAAAAH, brrrring it on yo I can't get enough of it.

Fucked Legs Type B, I hate :(

I feel it right now and I wish it would go the fuck away, it's totally wrecking my fun!

And here is some more complaining:

I have had the most stressful, annoying and claustrophobic few days at work. I HATE the QVB! Luckily I'll only be there for a couple o weeks. I can't stand swarms of people. Why do people remind me of roaches. I am not normal. People put me off my feed.

So now I am sitting here trying to recover and regain my composure before I inflict Fucked Legs Type B on to myself.

Then I will have Fucked Legs Type AB! The double banger!

Why must I punish myself?

"Because you deserve it" says God.

PS I have realised over the years that whenever my stress levels are high I lose my ability to make speech! Vocab goes out the window, mind goes blank, I stutter like a damn foo'...shit man I totally felt like I lost my mojo today! Fuck this shit, I'm heaps over it. Peace.

3:44pm: city of blandness

When I first found sydney, it wasn't bland at all....it was dangerous and dirty and full of drugs and music and rebellion. I was running away....from everything....from the mountains, my sadness, my past, all the parts of my childhood that made me so depressed.

Newtown: the place I had romanticised since I was twelve. I didn't tell anyone where I was, I just stayed at 598 king st one night and decided never to go home. Sydney was the place where I could start again, it was a place that never seemed to sleep, it was where I met you. We had that huge crazy crew of people and it was the cosiest family.

It was time to rebel. I LIKED the smell of garbage and pollution as I walked out of my front door. It was punk. I liked the sound of drunken carry-on and hoodlums in the street. Those were our people. We would all sit in a big pile out the front of 598 with no shoes and longnecks in our hands and life was just a bowl o' cherries.

But now....without you...without all of us...without the chaos and the carnage and the five-day weekends and the underworld and the faithless...the city isn't so romantic and thrilling. It's just crowded.

I once felt that the city had captured me, now I just feel imprisoned.

The thing that makes me happiest lately is getting away from the traffic, the dirty streets and the throngs of people and just being in nature...I try to do it at least once a week. Just go down the coast a bit and go for a huge bushwalk or find secluded beaches.

I don't want to change cities yet, I just don't want to be living right in the middle of it anymore.

As soon as I get behind the wheel again I wanna move away to somewhere I can run around until I drop from exaustion. I don't mind doing a long drive to the city to do stuff. I want to get a place right near some national park, I want to live around the trees and bushland, I want space to dance, I want fresh air to breathe, I want to be able to go for a run down the fire trails...

Ya know what I mean?

Soon.

9:39pm: *wakes up* HAPPY NEW YEARS!

After such a poignant and beautiful NYE, one of those nights where there is so much emotion and laughter and dancing and ecstacy that you feel like you might explode, I sat down a coupla days later still feelin the aftermath and did the most top-notch write-up of the night. Only to accidentally delete the whole thing.:/

Woops.

It's taken me this long to get over it.

Now I will attempt to sum it up again, even though it's such old news now in LJ land HA! I'm not sure I will be able to recapture it in all its perfection.

If I got to use only two words I would say DANCING RULEZ!!!

NYE was spent on an island with some of the best friends I have ever known. Sitting on the verandah of the beach house, drinkin Red Bulls, spliffs goin round, felafel cooking inside...what a way to chill out before the big event of FINALLY 2006 IS OVER!!!

From there the next major thing of awesomeness was dancing (like proper dancing) to Radiohead with my darling Heather..we haven't had the chance to do this together in so long...there was so much room to fly...and we couldn't wipe the smiles off our faces cos it was so beautiful...

Then later, there was more dancing (like club dancing) to my favourite clubbing music of all which is of course DRUM N BASS. Oh my god it was awesome, the music was like totally crazily good, I was so high, the friends were all goin off and I couldn't stop staring at sexy sexy Damien - for the five or so years I've known this guy I could never resist feasting my pervacious eyes on him while he dances cos he does it so HOT!!!! And this time was no exception!!!! GROWWWL!!

Then later on, after stumbling down the steep narrow path to the wharf to watch some fireworks, we all did the dance of trying to get back up to house - and fuck it was a crazy dance - Hannah and I seriously COULD NOT WALK. Imagine your most exaggerated impression of a person who can't walk. Like when you see someone who's really drunk trying to make a straight line. Times it by a hundred. That was us. I've never experienced such lack of balance. WOOOHOOO!!! Hehehe

This was a perfect night; there was laughter, there was romance, there was a mushy loving phone call with my sister, there was dancing...there was a naughty walk to secluded seashores....and the most raddest crew. The only bad thing was that the night ended so quickly. It's always like this on NYE. We look forward to it for months and before we know it the year is up!

Is it that time already?

A new year.

I did the new years meme a while ago but I really wasn't in the right kind of mood to do it properly...usually I spend longer pondering these things...I just haven't really had the time or patience for LJ lately.

I do wanna start using it again, it helps me sorts out me thoughts. I feel weird that I've recorded so little of the past year and to be honest this year has been MASSIVE for me!! If I don't write about these things how will I remember it all when I'm old and mental? Maybe I won't care. :D

I've been dancing a lot lately, took some photos of a session which I will post.

( dancing pics )

4:53pm: song for heather

WHATEVER'S PLAYING

You may have seen my old flame
Her red hair in the night
She was like a dancing candle
A light too bright to understand

Stay glowing, little miss
Whatever's playing I'll dance with you
Always remember this

I could never keep her on the ground
Our heels were always way too high
I knew that there would come a day
That she would want to fly away

We didn’t need so many words
Our two hearts would beat in time
We turned in unison in the mirror
When she cries I still can hear her

Keep growing, little miss
Whatever's playing I'll dance with you
Always remember this

Close my eyes, the music plays
I can almost feel my little dancer
She moves like falling, flying
I open my arms to catch her

Stay glowing, little miss
Whatever's playing I'll dance with you
Always remember this

The candle still burns my heart
Two dancers should never be so far apart


PS This song is really sad, sorry
PPS Heather has not been killed in a freak dancing accident, it's just a song about loss and missing someone

9:15pm: bye bye little

Today I moved my sister into her new place in Stanmore.

I now have my other room back!!! Finally I have space...:)

Privacy...:)

NO MORE EMO BANDS!!...:)

No more dirty dishes wot aren't mine...:)

No more little sister. :(

After unloading the truck, I got home and cheered for the lovely open clear space all ready to be re-claimed after nearly a year of feeling cramped and cluttered.

Excitedly planning how I would set up the room, I spread myself out luxuriously on the clean carpet and promptly BURST INTO TEARS.

My little one is gone :(

For seven of the eight years since I left home we kind of lost each other, but in 2006 I have found the most loving, loyal, strange and beautiful friend...the kind of friend that most people could only dream of.

*love*

Happy Houseys my little "Po"....Seeya in Newtown for coffee asap!! x x

12:16pm: wee wee

OMG OMG OMG

Deftones in Sydney Park in Feb!!!!!!

(key words: a. DEFTONES!!! b. SYDNEY PARK!!!)

Yeeee-hah!!!!

Excuse me please, I've just gotta get a fresh pair of undies

1:29pm: uh-oh! i got tagged by a phukn_psycho

RULES: Each player of this game starts off with 10 weird things / habits / little known facts about yourself. People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 10 weird habits / things / little known facts as well as state this rule clearly. At the end you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. No tagbacks.

( cocks and pussies and ass )

1:20pm: update

I haven't written in quite a long time. If someone looked up my journal it almost seems like I'm dead! And nothing could be further from the truth cos I am alive and kicking!!!

So I'm gonna make like Doogie Howser and type an entry!

Monday, October 23:

Stuff's good...actually stuffs awesome!...life is very full. I just got home from this rad hippy retreat in the hinterland QLD (part of my training) where I danced and meditated for a week and where I had a pet peacock. That peacock rules. How can one bird hog so much beauty? It's so cool.

Now I'm back in Sydney everything's so loud and fast...work seems more chaotic than ever (what is it about Pitt St mall that makes everyone so pushy?) and fashion is doing my head in. But it's ok! It's not forever. Soon my business will be up and running and I'll be doing exactly what I want! :)

Um...I'm not so good at this lj thingo anymore. What am I supposed to write here?

Time to talk about the weather.

I'm quite impatient for summer to come! I wanna go to the beach! Why is it so cold still? It's annoying :(

Well I'm over this already. To sum up, life's mad, everything's crazy and busy but very rewarding. I'm healthier than ever and I'm actually grounded - It's taken a lot of dedication but I got there eventually.

My mind is clear

My body is strong

My spirit is light.

Peace out rabbits x x

7:15pm: detox - heavy emo post whoa man

8:46pm: extreeeeme

Hey what happens if suddenly you become a giant freddo?

Chocolate rules my life.

I really should quit for a while, but, I dunno. I like how it makes me feel.

Anyway. YAY!! Life is radcore....my new dance piece is very exciting, probably the most exciting work I have ever done!!!!!

I'm going to Melbourne next weekend to see my beautiful wife and terrorise people with my partner in crime...

Then as soon as I get back, I'm studying again for a few months

Starting a new fitness routine....EXTREEEEEEEEEEEEME!!!!

Also....partying amap....bustin' em like a foo' who jus won' quit!!!!

Dancing RULES OK!!!!!!

Tomorrow will be the Towny.......ATTACK OF THE GIANT MALIBU STACEY!!!

Man, this entry has lost the plot, I'm just so excited yo....I'm about to meet up with the hottest guy on the face of the planet OMG OMG it should be another night of fun and wildness :)

I'm taking my sister on a date tomorrow afternoon, my sweet lil Po, I've been missing her...

CRAP it's raining!!!!

Holly we need to do more Boosh and definitely more cafes!! I had a great time the other day and I have been missing your laughs :)

Gottagobye xxoxoxoxox

1:28pm: malibu stacey I HATE BABIES

This morning my childhood best friend who was like a twin sister to me while I was growing up emailed me piccis of her second baby. It was gross. Babies are way gross.

So for breakfast I ate the morning after pill. OMFG BABIES ARE DISGUSTING. GET THEM AWAY FROM ME.

Also, Neil is gonna be a daddy soon so we're going out for dinner tonight before he moves away to Adelaide to get in shape for being a dad. Am I sensing a theme here. Oh it's all so wrong.

In other news I am a trashbag. What a wicked weekend of booze, blink and carrying on!!! I can't believe the amount of crap my body can take! I also can't believe I managed to have fun at Blink without feeling like a sad old freak who has passed her use by date.

Kids these days.

The past week has been fucking amazing. The people in my life rock. Got visited by my Melbourne babies last weekend.....Also caught up with a heap of crazy hooligan Sydney friends from my hoodlum past....and came home to my home away from home, the infamous Club 77! Decided on a new mission statement for the next few months:

Much more shenanigans

Much more tom-foolery

Much more bally-hoo!

Who says winter has to be cold dull and boring? What a cliche! I'm rebelling! You can watch DVDs and eat crisps if you must, I'll dance and drink to keep warm!

I'm feeling pretty damn good right now! If a little sore and hit-by-a-truck-ish! And it's all the fault of some sexy scoundrel who insists on bringing out the naughty in me...noches salvajes! el bailar sucio! sexo apasionado! It's all too good!! :)

7:28pm: wow

What a weekend.

I've gone all retarded, like crazy mongchop happy retarded! :)

Fuck man this was the best weekend ever invented.

I'm exhausted in a good way. I gotta go to bed now but I just wanna say FUCK LIFE IS GRAND :)

6:30pm: entertainment

1) Single, Taken, or Crushing?
LOOK OUT OR I WILL CRUSH YOUR SALTY NUTS!!!!!

2) Are you happy with where you are?
Sort of. Yes and no. Yes in that I know I'm doing what's best for myself. No in that you seem further and further away every day.

3) When you meet the right person, do you fall fast?
Oh fuck yes. The right person has my heart in the palm of their hand within five seconds!

4) Have you ever had your heart broken?
Yes

5) Do you believe that there are certain circumstances where cheating is acceptable?
No. If you truly want to be with someone, cheating just doesn't happen.

6) Would you ever take someone back if they cheated on you?
I've done it once and it continued to haunt me throughout the rest of the relationship. Once the trust has been broken, it is never fully restored. I learned from it though!! The next time a guy cheated on me, I ripped him off like a bandaid!!! I wasn't going to go through that again! It was hard to say goodbye though....I still miss him....

7) Have you talked about marriage with another person?
Yeah. Everyone I have been with actually. But that doesn't mean I was serious.

8) Do you want children?
No thanks

9) How many?
DID YOU HEAR WHAT I SAID I DON'T WANT ANY FUCKING KIDS OK NOW FUCK OFF AND BUY ME A PONY

10) Would you consider adoption?
FOR FUCK'S SAKE, ARE YOU DEAF?

11) If somebody liked you right now, what do you think a cool way to let you know would be?
Use less talk and more music!!!!!!!

12) Do you enjoy playing hard to get?
Playing hard to get is a useful skill that I intend to perfect

13) Be honest, do you play the "game" when you are dating?
OK Um...what is a date? "Dates", in the old fashioned sense of the world, went extinct years ago as far as I can tell. I think we've become a little bit scared of them. I think boys are especially terrified by the whole concept. Now it's all about hanging out. The term "date" has lost its meaning to me, it's more like a novelty term I use with my friends when I wanna take them somewhere special. Like "playdate". So, I have no idea what the dating "game" is!

14) Do you believe love at first sight exists?
Yes.

15) Are you romantic?
I think I might be the most romantic person I know.

16) Do you believe that you can change someone?
Anyone who answers no is just being silly. The answer is yes, of course you can change someone. Or rather, your affect on them can change them. We do it every day. I have changed everyone I have been involved with. We can lift people up from rock bottom and help them grow into amazing successful people. We can change each other from shy and reclusive to confident, outgoing, highly expressive individuals. I know this because I have seen it. I know I have inspired people and introduced them to new ideas. I have shown people parts of themselves that they never knew existed.

There's no way I would be the person I am today if I hadn't known you and loved you and learned from you. We are all changing each other all the time. It's how we help each other to grow.

17) If you could get married anywhere, money not an object, where would you get married?
This is something that needs to be decided together!

19) Do you easily give in when you are fighting?
I'm always the one trying to make it all better. I have a tattoo on my brain that says "Thou shalt resolve"

20) Do you have feelings for someone right now?
I have many different feelings for many different people.

21) Have you ever wished you could've had someone but you can't?
No

22.) Have you ever broken a heart?
A few

24.) Would you ever fight somebody over your significant other?
Hehehe, it sounds like fun but only if it was a cartoon

25.) What would you say about your last ex?
He was strange, I liked it

2:53am: chilly

The days get shorter

And we're growing older as seasons change

I'm so much colder

I cover my chest and keep my love in

Underneath a layer of cold cold skin